Chicken Shit

As most of you know, I have been threatening to write a blog for the past year (ish), but I am a super procrastinator and have been hoping little writing ninja fairies will do it for me...and oh, I am afraid of failure.

The only reason why I am writing this entry now is because I am waiting for my Mothers guest room sheets and quilt to dry because my semi hairless cat Chicken (whom I am sure most of you know by now) decided to take a shit in the guest room after eating unfamiliar food...I have to give Chicken credit though, she only craps on the ugly bedding.
My Mom you ask? Oh yes, I am 41 and staying with my Mother and Chicken...before I begin about why I am living back in Cleveland, let me clear up a few things:
*My grammar/punctuation skills are that of a child still in the NICU...
*I have both ADD and OCD...but they work well together. 
*I will give a heads up if the entry is about cats...so the select few can enjoy hearing about fur balls and the best clumping litter available.
*I like to write about current events...if I write something personal and you are offended, I am sorry...well, kind of...especially if a family member is a part of the
Sochi US Figure Skating Ice Dance Team.
*I swear A LOT...so much so that someone once said to me "I am in the military and never heard such a foul mouth during my whole tour in Iraq.
*Unlike Samantha Jones in Manolo Blahniks, I am laying across the sheet less bed (see cat excuse) in Ugg slippers, wife beater and Mickey Mouse panties.
*I am the kind of person that as a child, I probably put a plastic bag over my head because my Mom said "that is not a toy".
*I am currently dating a 28yr old that looks like Prince Harry.

I was recently denied entry into the UK because "I could not provide proof" that I was not going to try and work in England...my response of "why would I work illegally in your country when I don't like to work legally in my own? did not work too well.
I was detained for 24hrs and...oh the sheets are dry. BRB